Not even you and all your love could bring me down

Seeing as I’m having a truth fest, I really wish I could talk to my CPN right now because I’m scared and I can say anything to her and I don’t worry about her reaction and she hasn’t threatened to section me for about a month. Soon she’ll be the only support I have, and soon after that she will start hating me, so I really should be speaking to her as much as possible while I still can. I don’t want it to be ruined with her because we’ve somehow managed to make it helpful and I always feel like she’ll make things better and I don’t think that about many people. I think I’ll phone her tomorrow and tell her what I’m thinking and she will let me go off on a crazy ramble and then she’ll say honest things and I’ll feel reassured or at least like I’ve been listened to. I often think she should win awards or something because I hated and refused to say anything to her for months and now she’s the one dragging me through all the worst times and helping me laugh at the irony and ridiculousness of my life.