Not even you and all your love could bring me down

It has been hard to breathe all night and painkillers aren’t working on my ribs or my head, fuck.
See, I’ve spent so much time worrying about having something neurological wrong with me that I wasn’t really considering the alternative. No one thinks they’ll find anything and ever since my GP said he wanted me to do this, I’ve been thinking ‘oh well if they find nothing then I won’t be in any worse of a position’ but that’s completely wrong. All the while physical symptoms aren’t investigated, a physical cause isn’t ruled out, but if he finds nothing then he’ll be handing me a fucking life sentence, living with a body that will always be out of my control and unpredictable, I’ll always have to prepare for it messing itself up in a variety of problematic and scary ways.
I can’t deal with this because I’m fucked either way.