March 2012
mymindmonster replied to your post: mymindmonster replied to your post: Why were…
yes they did. i may have kept them hidden at my house for a short while ;) talk about paranoia though, ended up sitting on the floor whispering and nibbling at cheese sarnies.
Ah well that’s good! See the police were actually being sensible to come to you ;)
mymindmonster replied to your post: Why were detectives searching your house?
weird you should say this because i literally just had the police over multiple times tonight because my friend went missing. ended up having a cosy fag with them in the garden before drama kicked off!
Hahaha oh god ironic! Did they get found?
Anonymous asked: Why were detectives searching your house?
Uninteresting CPN worries.
Really I’m just trying to distract myself because I don’t want to think about seeing Annie tomorrow.
I know she’ll be pleased that I actually went to the appointment and that I didn’t shout or punch things and that I didn’t have a panic attack. I know that she’ll probably say ‘well done!’ and ‘wow’ a lot, and she’ll laugh at my...
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‘Okay so they rang me at about 1.30 and asked if they could come round, clearly I said yes and the man said they’d be there soon. I rang again at 3 to say they still hadn’t turned up and got a call back saying they were on their way. It’s fucking 3.30. These detectives are so fucking inconsiderate and I bet they’ll want to search my house again.’
Right, this is not happy nostalgia...
I’m just going to spend all night reposting these old pictures I’m finding and rambling about them because I’m sad and unsettled, and nostalgia and memories are always a good distraction.
I wish I could repost old videos because there are some glorious videos on here.
February 2012
Caitlin understands!
Oh my god I’ve just made myself giggle for far too long with the thought of just completely overdoing the ‘wear orange’ thing tomorrow and just plastering myself in orange things, because I’m seeing my CPN and her reaction to ‘oh you’ve noticed the orange? It’s self harm awareness day’ would be a top notch comedy moment. Oh wow. I don’t think...
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On the subject..
Although self harm is obviously never a particularly wise decision, it’s technically less stupid for certain people to do it than for others, because some people are chemically much more likely to feel better afterwards.
It’s all to do with the endorphins that are released after you cut yourself, and some people naturally have a bigger change in their endorphin levels (it’s one...
sillyfeather replied to your post: sillyfeather replied to your post: Anyway there is…
It was during my “I’m going to be a magical pixie and make the world sparkly and lovely because it’s so much better than facing the fact that my boyfriend dumped me because he wants to have sex with men and that I’m spiraling out of control” phase…
That sounds like a GREAT phase.. ;)
I still have...
sillyfeather replied to your post: Anyway there is no point in tumblr having ‘self…
A couple years ago, before I became cynical and jaded (aka got smarter), I was one of those “self harm awareness! orange everything! everyone is beautiful! TWLOHA ftw!” people. I didn’t have a Tumblr then, but you would’ve hated me forever ;)
Hahaha I’m actually giggling at the idea of this type of...
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Anyway there is no point in tumblr having ‘self harm awareness’ because I very much doubt you could have a blog on here and manage to avoid seeing pictures or reading quotes about self harm. Tumblr is aware. The people reblogging self harm awareness related things are mainly people whose blogs consist of pictures of cuts and probably texts posts mentioning how ‘addicted’...
Oh god it’s self harm awareness week? I hate self harm awareness week on tumblr. Really I just hate most things about self harm or the attitude most self harmers have towards it, oh I’m probably going to have a week of being controversial and ‘mean’ then aren’t I? I’ll try to refrain from ranting while my brain is so messy anyway because it won’t make...
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I was a romantic kid
I found myself a torch
And a book and I hid
And nothing ever scared me like a wedding did.
Fight free friends.
Taking a little break from my misery and self pity to assess the likely outcome of Izzy and Caitlin both being near me at the same time on Monday night.
My professional opinion is that there is nothing unlikeable about Caitlin, and anyway Izzys meanness is nothing compared to mine so I think we’re going to be alright. There would be no competition because they are not competing for the same...
“There is a kind of crying I hope you have not experienced, and it is not just...”
– Lemony Snicket (via bracelette)
Boring and depressing.
I’ve been thinking about strange things today and I’m definitely depressed, not sad. On the way home yesterday I realised that I could feel myself getting heavier and I stopped being able to sing along to my iPod because everything was slow and difficult, but I ignored that and put it down to circumstances. Today I’ve been angry, I’ve been fucking raging all day and...
aastrolatry:
Brand New | Untitled 02 (Morissey...
I’ve been looking through my old posts and my god, there are so many that need to be deleted but it would take me hours to do that on my phone.
I’m in bed because I’m in pain and there’s no point in getting up really, but my tea is cold and somehow I doubt that the kittens are going to microwave that for me so I’ll have to drag myself out of my pit of misery at some...
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Listen
Did I mention this?
I don’t think I did.
Anyway, I’m being referred to the pain clinic. This means that they’ll probably change my painkillers and perhaps I won’t have to take too many anymore.
It would be good to have something that works because I was talking to Annie about this last week and I said ‘I need new pain meds because if I carry on like this my liver will be completely...
Nothing interesting.
I haven’t cried at all today, which is strange because I’ve had many ‘oh fuck I can feel tears approaching, stop it right now!’ moments. I won’t cry tomorrow because I’m doing nothing, I have painkillers and mum will bring me cereal and tea while I stagnate in bed. On Thursday I am seeing Annie and I think I’ll cry then, I’ll cry in her car while we...
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I still haven’t got over it even now.
I want to spend huge amounts of time on my own.
I don’t want to cause any serious damage.
I want to make sure that I can manage,
because I’m not really in your head,
I’m not really in your head.
Boring.
My dad was actually brilliant today considering how bad it has been, and I didn’t even thank him for taking the day off, woops. Luckily he came in for a coffee when he brought me home and he did the ‘explain something to mum and answer all of her silly questions even though you’ve already told her everything you know’ routine so I’m very thankful for that. I can tell...
sleeping-ssickness said: What does that mean?
I explained it earlier in a reply to a message :)
belyenochi replied to your post: Haha just scrolled along to your next post and it says what it is. However, I now have a new question, what actually is functional neurological disorder?
neurosymptoms.org sounds like it doesn’t always have to do with stress. could just be your brain mixing up signals (i’ve been reading about stuff like that for school lately) or firing signals without reason
...
chainsthatheldmenowliebroken asked: SO basically they still don't really know but they've just given a name to it to cover all possible symptoms that they can't explain?
chainsthatheldmenowliebroken asked: Haha just scrolled along to your next post and it says what it is. However, I now have a new question, what actually is functional neurological disorder?