December 2010
The weight of all my emptiness comes crashing down...
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This is a very slushy ramble.
He’s 8 years older than me but we always forget. He’s paranoid and I’m insecure but we tend to ignore it. He tries to make me eat but lets me get away with a few crisps or a tiny piece of bread if I refuse. I text him to make sure he’s taken his pills. We’re both historically heartless sluts but we are in love.
We are just as scared as each other.
I love you even though it isn't fair.
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Silly little nutter.
Watching Waterloo road on catch up tv and crying hysterically.
Thinking my boyfriend hates me because he didn’t say he loves me back - even though I barely ever say it back when he does, I prefer spontaneous.
Asking my mum a million stupid questions because I feel so fucking insecure for no reason.
I am alone, I am torn open again.
“I am so busy keeping my head above water that I scarcely know who I am, much...”
– Sylvia Plath (via youmaybeoffended)
and the sky goes black: I would like to talk with... →
pigisapig:
First off, what is a trigger warning, anyway?
A trigger warning usually consists of bold, capitalized, or linked text describing in a broad way what text follows it. It can be in the form of a cut, or simply the title of the text in question, warning readers what kind of…
Yes!
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I really fucking miss you. Not having you in my life anymore is getting easier but when things are really bad, I need you, and when I achieve tiny but significant things I know you’re the only person who’d really get it. These past few days what I’ve really needed is for you to tell me I’m being too meganish and give me a hug. When I was being forced into ECT and pills that messed me up, and not...
I can’t express how glad I am that you’re not in my life anymore, or how sad I am that you were in it for so long. I know I did not treat you well but I could never have done to you what you did to me. I don’t wish you happiness because you don’t deserve it, but I do pity you for having to live as such a disgusting, pathetic human being. The love I once had for you will...
4. A letter to someone you grew apart from.
I didn’t grow apart from anyone I can think of so I’ll do two letters, both to people I’m no longer close to but for different reasons.
3. Your new years plans
(I’ll do 2 later when I’m on my laptop and not my iPod.)
For new years I’m going to my boyfriends friends party. It’s fancy dress and we don’t have costumes but that’s fine because everyone will be smashed.
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10 things you did this year
1. Turned 18 - I’m legal baby! 2. Got kicked out of college again. 3. Got Xazie :) 4. Lots and lots of naughty sex-related things. 5. Somethinghideoushappened 6. Joined tumblr ;) 7. Ended the worst relationship I’ve had. 8. Had my brain fried. 9. Dyed my hair countless unnatural colours. 10. Found a new plaything.
http://threewords.me/heroyouhate →
Think I’m a complete cock? Love me entirely? Tell me ;)
I hurt myself today/ to see if I still feel: ECT →
theheroyouhate:
I didn’t find it painful other than mild headaches for the rest of the day. Oh, and I got jawaches from biting down on the mouthguard, I can remember saying ‘I feel as if I’ve given an elephant a blowjob’ so that’s the best way I can describe it. Some people get achey in…
I’ve never had a dentist x ray haha, I guess it is, if you have to have anaesthetic for them!...
ECT
I didn’t find it painful other than mild headaches for the rest of the day. Oh, and I got jawaches from biting down on the mouthguard, I can remember saying ‘I feel as if I’ve given an elephant a blowjob’ so that’s the best way I can describe it. Some people get achey in general but I never did.
My psychiatrist decided I had to have it when I was in hospital because...